She’s Like a Rainbow
As I sat down to write the ‘me’ section of this site, I was overwhelmed by all of the aspects that define who I am. I realized quickly that if I wanted to be completely transparent, (my new #1 goal both personally & for SoulShine), what makes up me comes in all sorts of colours. And to be totally honest, in various shades too; sometimes light and super shiny and sometimes real, real dark.
I have been on a crazy quest all of my life. The quest of self-discovery. Trying to figure out why I am here. Like really, why the hell am I here? I can seriously remember being a young girl and asking people if they ever wondered why they were here, and each time I received a blank look, and then a definite ‘no’. Questioning, seeking, soul searching & digging deep was all I ever did; all in an attempt for answers to help make some sense out of the world that I lived in.
You see, not only am I a true introvert, my sun sign is Pisces, my moon is in Gemini and Capricorn is my ascending sign. You may be asking yourself “So, what the hell does that have to do with anything, lady?” Well, likely in the big scheme of things, SFA. But, what I have learned about myself, is that I am a dreamer but also grounded. I am sensitive, intuitive, and headstrong. I am a leader but can also feel like I am lost swimming in opposite directions. I have this crazy driving force behind me, and I can get shit done. That is after I spend some good time relaxing, wallowing or daydreaming.
So my ‘me’ section quickly became too long, and likely for most folks, simply too much information. But hey! For those of you who want a little peek into ‘me’, here are the things that I feel best describe who I am, in this lifetime:
Things about me:
- I am a healer, and love helping others
- I believe that love conquers all
- I love reading Rumi poetry while drinking a delicious cup of Ironwood Coffee or Chaga tea
- I honour the moon and all of her phases
- Being deep in the woods soothes my soul
- I always wanted to be the lead singer in a famous band (hmmm, ya that hasn’t changed)
- I love music! Listening, playing, watching live; all of it. Well, except for opera (obviously!)
- I LOVE being alone
- My daughter has been, by far, my biggest teacher. HOLY SHIT, parenting is hard.
- I am guided by my heart
- I love having my hands in the soil and growing my own food. I also find weeding to be the best form of meditation
- I wake up at 6am every mornings and sit in front of my altar and thank the universe and all of my guides for this life of mine
- I love oracle cards and consult them daily, well, sometimes more than once
- My great grandmother read tea leaves, and I think about her often and wish she was alive to pass her gift on to me
- I’m pretty sure I come from a line of powerful healing women - whether they embraced it or not
- I am passionate about whole organic foods and fancy myself a kitchen alchemist
- I love hunting for wild edibles and medicinal plants, and pretty much nerd out whenever I am on a hike
- I love to travel, even though I am terrified of airplanes
- I want to visit as many sacred sites as I can around the world before I die
- I love the water, and feel at home by the ocean, and still pretend to be a mermaid when I swim under water
- I am also a water snob, and only drink living spring water that my honey and I go to collect each week. Literally. From. The. Spring.
- I dream of living among the trees, off the grid, in a yurt with my honey & my kid
- I get depressed in the winter without the sun, no matter how much Vit. D I take
- I’m afraid of getting old, slowly fading away in time, and losing my youthful appearance
- I fall into deep darkness every so often and wallow there for a while
- People see me as strong, I don’t think they realize I feel weak a lot too
- I still worry about disappointing my parents, even though I’m 45!
- It’s hard to name a favourite flower, I love them all. But lilacs remind me of never ending sunshine filled days & being young, wild and carefree
- Sometimes I feel lost and want to get in my car and leave it all behind. For reals, Thelma and Louise style (minus the cliff, but def including a young Brad Pitt)
- I like to make people laugh
- I tell it like it is, which sometimes (most of the time) gets me into trouble
- I have felt misunderstood most of my life by those closest to me
- And even though I try my hardest to be a vegan; every once in a while, I do love a good raw cheddar with a nice glass of wine and love to put organic grass fed butter in my coffee :)
This list could keep going, and to be honest it has been so liberating to write all of this down. Which reminds me of yet another colour of mine; I LOVE TO WRITE. I have been secretly writing poetry since I was 18. My poems are safely tucked in various journals around my house, in the notes of my phone and on my laptop. And it would be a dream come true for me to write a novel someday, so who knows?
What I do know, is that my wish for this business of mine, is to inspire all of you to come into who YOU really are. To follow your hearts, to practice more YOGA, to eat yummy organic food, to treat your body like the temple that it is. Honour the earth and her cycles, smile (or howl!) at the moon, seek out people who remind you of the beautiful shiny soul that YOU ARE and leave the folks that take your shine away behind. And if you do these things, I promise you, you will begin a healing journey like no other. Physically, emotionally and spiritually. And if I can come along that ride with you, inspire you, or bring you with me on my journey, then I feel I will have fulfilled my true purpose for being here. Because what I have come to realize, through these years of seeking, is the reason we are all here, on this crazy blue ball spinning through space, is to share our love. Share our pain. Share our joys and our sorrows. Simply share ourselves.
I invite you to show up for this life, step into your worth, your power and laugh when you can and when that is too hard, know that that is ok too, and let the tears flow baby!
Here is the link to the song that inspired this entry